Patient Trust
Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress
that it is made by passing through some stages of instability—
and that it may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually—let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give Our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.
—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ
excerpted from Hearts on Fire
I am not patient with myself. I am in this period of liminality, in the space between what I used to be, my old persona, and what I am transforming to be. Sometimes I just want to be over it. Let me be the butterfly that soars from the chrysalis. But I have learned that I cannot take the elevator to a new life. I have to take the stairs, the steps.
Are you also in liminal space? Betwixt and between? “We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new…and it may take a very long time.”
In my work with clients, I find so many who are in a hurry even though they don’t know where they are going! I tell them to slow down and pay attention to the moments, to being in the process.
We’ve been taught that results matter the most. What was the impact on revenue? How did your actions improve customer retention? Did you make it- get a spot on the team? Did you make cookies for my class party? Did you get a raise? Well then what’s the point of working so many long hours?
How we measure “success” is what’s wrong. I used to measure success by my job title, my salary, my sphere of influence in the corporate world. By what kind of car I drove, where I lived, etc. all the outside stuff. But that’s not what really matters. How did I feel inside? Empty. Lonely. Unsatisfied.
In my world now, I’m measuring success by how content, peaceful and happy I am. Am I helping others? Am I showing up with love? Am I serving others because that’s what God wants me to be doing, using my gifts and talents to serve others.
I get satisfaction out of doing things for others, expecting nothing in return. For example, for the past ten years I have been volunteering with my English Cream Retriever, Elle as a therapy dog team. Hospitals, nursing homes, college campuses – our presence makes people smile, relax and, according to research, lowers their blood pressure! It is immensely satisfying for both me and my dog who gets so excited when go on these visits. Even she feels a purpose. We aren’t expecting money or accolades, just the grace of these moments.
1. Be patient and look for the grace. Where are you finding GRACE in your transition? Have you learned to be more patient? Do you believe things happen in God’s time, not yours?
2. Set aside your beliefs that only quick action and results matter.
3. Accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.
These new ways of being mean you are learning to more smoothly navigate your transition in liminal space. It’s a positive step to your own new way of being in the world.